A Time Traveler's Tale



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Those time travel shows have got it all wrong
They all seem to think you disappear
You just walk into a phone box with a mad Englishman
That's much bigger in there than out here

Or meet with a mad American man
And his nuclear powered car
And vanish quite neatly in a trail of flames
At 88 miles per hour

Time, wo, wo, time
Time is so confusing, whatever you are using
It don’t work that way

I just woke up one morning and there by my side
Was the first of the copies of me
He had slept with my wife and I could tell from her smile
He must have been better than me

And this dark feeling rose, to punch him in the nose
But I could not decide which fist
And it's as well I refrained for I felt it on my face
When she turned and greeted him with a kiss

Time, wo, wo, time
Time will turn to meet ya
With old familiar features

And so, then I thought, I may as well go to work
Perhaps now I'll get doubly paid
Then I saw on the bus there was three more of us
How many of me had been made?

One still had his hair and a beard down to here
Another with a burger and fries in his lap
And the last had a look that said leave me the hell alone
So I was careful to choose where I sat

Time, wo, wo, time
Time is a refuter
A life sentence commuter

When I punched the old clock, Susie looked kinda shocked
She said I thought that you were on leave
I said who told you that, she said the guy who's been sat
In your spot for the last twenty weeks

I said, well this is news, who is this dude?
She said I dunno, you all look the same
So I checked out my station and with some consternation
I saw it was happening again

Time, wo, wo , Time
Time takes a beginner
And spreads him mighty thinner

Only this guy was smarter and neater and seemed
To be in with the boss like a treat
And I took a dislike to his suit and his watch
And those pointy little shoes on his feet

And I began to believe, since the numbers of me
Were somehow growing to a plague
That surely just one would never be missed
But that was my biggest mistake

As I opened a window to let one of us out
The strangest thing did occur
An army of me appeared at the scene
Singing come down the pub with us sir!

Time, wo, wo, time
Time is like a soldier
Nobody told the war is over

They played the piano and shouted me drinks
And spun me old yarns to the dawn
And then when it came to roll home again
We all gathered round to draw straws

Yes, those sci-fi shows have got it all wrong
Time don't let you disappear
You just wake up one morning and think to yourself
Gee, it's good to be back here

Time, wo, wo, time
Time’s a complicator
A consummate frustrator
Oh, time
Time’s so good at waitin’
Time will see you later
Wo, wo, wo , time.


© Brendan Bonsack
December 2016