Confessions of a Time Traveller

Those time travel shows have got it all wrong
They seem to think you disappear
Walk into a phone box with a mad Englishman
That's much bigger in there than out here

Or meet with a mad American man
And his nuclear powered car
And vanish quite neatly in a trail of flames
At 88 miles per hour

But I'm telling you, that's not how it works
Whatever device you are using
I've been doing it now for three thousand years
And, shit, my life is confusing

I just woke up one morning and there by my side
Was the first of the copies of me
He had slept with my wife and I could tell from her smile
He must have been better than me

This dark feeling rose, to punch him in the nose
But I couldn't decide which fist
And it's as well I refrained for I felt it on my face
When she woke and greeted him with a kiss

And so, then I thought, I may as well go to work
Perhaps now I'll get doubly paid
Then I saw on the bus there was three more of us
How many of me had been made?

One still had his hair and a beard down to here
And socks almost to his knees
He looked quite content with the way the sun bent
Through the window and danced in the trees

Another was locked in a fight with his phone
Burger and fries in his lap
And the last had a look that said leave me alone
So I was careful to choose where I sat

When I punched the old clock, Susie looked kinda shocked
She said I thought that you were on leave
I said who told you that, she said the guy who's been sat
In your spot for the last twenty weeks

I said, well this is news, who is this dude?
She said I dunno, you all look the same
So I checked out my station and with some consternation
I saw it was happening again

Only this guy was smarter and neater and seemed
To be in with the boss like a treat
And I took a dislike to his suit and his watch
And those pointy shoes on his feet

And I began to believe, since the numbers of me
Were growing somehow to a plague
That surely just one would never be missed
But that was my biggest mistake

As I opened a window to let one of us out
The strangest thing did occur
An army of me appeared at the scene
Singing come down the pub with us sir!

They played the piano and shouted me drinks
And spun me old yarns to the dawn
And then when it came to roll home again
We all gathered round to draw straws

Yes, those sci-fi shows have got it all wrong
Time don't let you disappear
You just wake up one morning and think to yourself
It's so good to be back here

This poem appears in


Pass it Along

© Brendan Bonsack
April 2016